Should I stay or should I go?

Years ago you moved abroad… “Just for a couple of years or maybe forever” you thought at the time. Now you find yourself (still) living and working abroad, but the big question keeps coming back: “Should I stay or should I go?”

This question generates even more difficult ones – perhaps a lot of confusion and stress too. Perhaps you just have a general feeling of being in limbo and not knowing what to do, not seeing the future clearly.

  • They say “Home is where the heart is” – but where is mine?
  • I tried to integrate here – Why do I still feel like an outsider?
  • I still miss home!
  • I feel nostalgic and think “those were the days?” but I’m not sure if I’m nostalgic for my youth or for the location.

What was holding me back from moving back home?

Deep, deep down in my heart I wanted to go home a long time ago, but my mind, my own rationalizations of things, was actually holding me back. I thought going back would somehow mean I was a bit of a failure. I would lose my ‘expat-status’. Being an expat, gave me a feeling of being different, in a good way. I had the idea that I was more ‘acknowledged’ compared to just being ‘a local’. Furthermore complaining about the locals and host country made everything so much easier. Comparing my culture back home with the new one was fun and felt somehow comfortable. It always felt good if I could blame someone else for my expat-diseases- loneliness, homesickness, and, not to be forgotten, the famous culture shock.

On the other hand, I also knew, that I had to deal with those same insecurities and fears back home too. Should I stay or should I go? Instead of answering the question directly, I decided to learn how to be at ease with myself, to be proud of who I am. To discover my own limiting beliefs and change them into a more supporting mind-set.

It was the best decision I ever made!

It has been a long road finding y true, authentic self, but it was worth it. If you are at ease with yourself,  you feel happy and satisfied, wherever you go, where ever you are.

 


 

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‘I can’t believe THAT!’ said Alice

‘Can’t you?’ the Queen said in a pitying tone. ‘Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.’

Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’

I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast’.

Chapter 5 – Wool & Water, Alice in Wonderland

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